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Finance | Leadership] Breaking into Finance: A Real-World Guide for Students and Future Leaders (technical and behavioral tips: lessons learned from a 15-year journey in Wall Street & City of London) - Part 3/5: On Being a Woman & Minority in Finance

What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self at 21?
1. Bonus 1 – On Gender and Being a Woman in Finance – reflections and lessons
2. Bonus 2 – On Being from a Minority Cultural Background & the Bamboo Ceiling

💖 Bonus] On Gender and Being a Woman in Finance

Across every firm I’ve worked in, I naturally gravitated toward building women’s circles and leadership networks — mentoring junior women, amplifying their presence, and supporting them as they step into the executive roles they’re capable of. There were moments in my early 20s when I questioned whether I could really build a serious career in finance — I often found myself being the “only” in the room: the only woman, the youngest, and the only Asian. It took me years of inner work to reach a point where I could share my earned experiences out loud.

This is also the section I delayed publishing for months.
Not because I didn’t know what to say — but because I wasn’t sure how much to say.

There is far more I could write.
And if you ever want to speak in person, I’m always open to a real conversation.

The Question That Changed How I Saw My Career

I originally planned to write something simple like:
“Your excellence matters most.”

Then a friend asked me:

“Do you think your career trajectory would have been the same if you were a man — same drive, same capability, just a different gender?”

That question stopped me.
Not because men are malicious or intentionally biased —
but because the system was built by and for men long before women were invited into the workforce.

It doesn’t mean the system is hostile.
It does mean the system is evolving — and we are part of that evolution.

The Realities We Don’t Always Admit Out Loud

I remembered the client drinks and networking events I skipped — not because I didn’t want to be included, but because I didn’t drink, or I didn’t feel safe.
I remembered the informal spaces where trust is built — the very spaces women often cannot, or choose not to, access.
I remembered the unspoken expectations around maternity leave, which inevitably affects career timing.
I remembered the meetings where a point landed more easily when repeated by a male colleague.
And I remembered how long it took before women were even acknowledged in office design — some corporate buildings in Europe and the Middle East simply had no women’s restrooms.

These are not complaints.
They are structural realities.

Finance is intense, demanding, high-performance, military-adjacent in discipline.
It rewards sharpness, reliability, and stamina — and historically, that culture was shaped without the needs or rhythms of women in mind.

But the landscape is changing — fast.
And you are part of that change.

What I’ve Learned as a Woman in Finance (Over 15 Years)

How to sit at the table even when I felt invisible.
How to speak with calm conviction — without raising my voice.
How to read a room before anyone says a word.
How to lead with both precision and empathy.
How to handle moments where my ideas were heard more clearly through someone else — and how to return the favour for others.
How to build trust without compromising who I am.

These are not “soft skills.”
These are leadership skills.

A Note to Younger Women Entering the Field

You are not an outsider.
You are a builder of what comes next.

This era is not about “fitting in.”
It’s about defining the future of leadership.

Your presence, your perspective, your questions — all of it matters.

If you feel like you don’t belong, stay anyway.
If someone underestimates you, let it sharpen your edge.
If you see a gap in the industry, start building.

Clients, boards, and CIOs increasingly want diverse thinkers, global perspectives, and emotionally intelligent leadership.
Finance is evolving — and your contribution is material.

You don’t need anyone’s permission.
Walk in anyway.

A Personal Reflection on Belonging & Femininity

Early in my career, I internalized a passing comment about my appearance — the unwanted male gaze — and without fully realizing it, I adapted.

I stopped wearing makeup.
I stopped wearing jewelry.
I softened every element that made me visibly feminine.

I thought I had to neutralize myself to be taken seriously.

Years later, surrounded by thoughtful senior women, I finally unlearned that instinct.

Wearing lipstick or a skirt again wasn’t about aesthetics.
It was about reclaiming my presence.

I realised I didn’t have to mute myself to lead.
In fact, stepping more fully into who I am made me a clearer, stronger leader.

If You Encounter Non-Inclusive Behaviour

You are not alone.
And you are not overreacting.

Here’s what I tell my mentees:

Set boundaries with calm clarity.
Speak to someone you trust — privately, professionally.
Reflect before taking any step you can’t undo.
Don’t carry shame for systems you didn’t design.
Trust your instincts.
Take up space.

Your safety and dignity matter.
Your future matters more.

A Final Word

We stand on the shoulders of women who fought battles we will never fully see.

One story I’ll never forget:
A senior woman — Oxford educated, brilliant — was asked to take an IQ test to prove she was “competent enough” for her first finance job.
Not in the 1950s.
In our parents’ generation.

We’ve come far because those before us pushed the walls outward.

And someone, someday, will stand on your shoulders.

Lead with integrity.
Model strength.
And remember:

Your presence is not a disruption.
It is part of the evolution of this industry.

❣️Resources

🎥 Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPMzjMDq9PE

📚 Book Recommendations:

1. Leadership, Power & Influence (for women in high-stakes environments)

The Moment of Lift — Melinda Gates: A thoughtful but strategic lens on women, leadership, and systemic change.
Dare to Lead — Brené Brown: Emotional intelligence for high-pressure leadership. Great for mentoring.
How Women Rise — Sally Helgesen & Marshall Goldsmith: Practical, senior-level frameworks for breaking self-sabotaging patterns in elite corporate settings.
The Memo — Minda Harts: A powerful guide for women of color navigating corporate spaces with nuance and truth.
The Authority Gap — Mary Ann Sieghart: A sharp look at implicit bias in powerful rooms — highly resonant for finance.

2. Finance, Power Structures & Global Markets

The Power Broker — Robert Caro: Long, but a masterclass in systems, power, and how real influence works.
Principles — Ray Dalio: Required reading if you want to mentor future leaders with rigor.
The Outsiders — William Thorndike: Essential for understanding non-traditional, high-performing leaders in capital allocation.
More Money Than God — Sebastian Mallaby: A crisp and absorbing history of hedge funds and risk intelligence.
Trillion Dollar Coach — Eric Schmidt & Jonathan Rosenberg: Leadership lessons from Silicon Valley’s most influential coach (applies directly to finance teams).

3. Women, Confidence, Identity & Ambition

Playing Big — Tara Mohr: Perfect for women in finance who carry brilliance but hesitate to step into visibility.
Invisible Women — Caroline Criado Perez: A data-driven look at systemic structures; helps students understand context and bias.
The Likeability Trap — Alicia Menendez: Sharp insights for women in male-dominated fields.
Presence — Amy Cuddy: A psychological guide on energy, embodiment, and power.

4. Career Navigation, Excellence & Mentorship

The Defining Decade — Meg Jay: Useful for students and early-career professionals.
Range — David Epstein: A powerful counterpoint to hyper-specialisation — great for your narrative (“global generalist”).
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People — Stephen Covey: Classic, but a backbone for any mentoring curriculum.

5. Emotional Mastery & Human Understanding

Nonviolent Communication — Marshall Rosenberg: A foundation for leadership, conflict resolution, and EQ.
The Mountain Is You — Brianna Wiest: Accessible and grounding for mid-20s professionals.
Attached — Levine & Heller: Useful for understanding relational dynamics — highly relatable for young mentees.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone — Lori Gottlieb: Deep, humorous, human. Helps students feel less “alone.”

6. Expanded Consciousness, Identity & Purpose

The Second Mountain — David Brooks: Purpose, service, meaning — deeply grounding.
Awareness — Anthony de Mello: Clear, sharp, psychologically liberating; no mystical fluff.
Man’s Search for Meaning — Viktor Frankl: A universal compass for resilience and existential clarity.
The Untethered Soul — Michael A. Singer: A gentle introduction to consciousness and emotional regulation.

🐠 Bonus 2] On Being from a Minority Cultural Background & the Bamboo Ceiling

Don’t let pride or fear push you into isolation. When you don’t see yourself reflected in the room, it’s easy to shrink or question your place.

But remember this: you carry a dimension others cannot replicate.

Your background, your story, your lived experience — your presence — brings a perspective that didn’t exist before you arrived.

Finance has historically favored one archetype: loud, assertive, fluent in dominant cultural codes.

That has been true.

But the landscape is shifting.

Excellence now has more than one face.

Quiet confidence, cross-cultural fluency, and emotional intelligence are becoming genuine competitive advantages.

If you’ve grown up navigating multiple worlds — linguistically, racially, nationally — you carry adaptability, attunement, and emotional range.

That is not a weakness. It is an asset.

And ultimately, what speaks loudest is your ability to deliver.

Own your pace. Own your presence. Own your perspective.

Never contort yourself to fit someone else’s outdated definition of leadership.

✧ A Personal Note

When I moved from New York to London, it took nearly two years to decode a new set of social expectations.

I had studied class, race, and the layered culture of British corporate life.

I’d lived across cities and continents. But even then — I felt out of place.

Born in South Korea as the daughter of a diplomat (a part of my story I’ve kept private until now).

Raised in Toronto (living with German and Israeli host families).

Shaped and worked in New York City.

Now working in the UK/Europe.

I carried a global life story, yet still felt pressure to “pick a side” — to be less Korean in some rooms, less Western in others.

But the real work was internal.

I had to ask myself:

What part of myself am I editing — and for whom?
What version of me is still trying to earn approval I no longer need?

Here is what I learned:

If you aren’t clear in your own self-definition, others will define you — for their comfort.

When you root fully into who you are — unapologetically — the room reorganizes around that clarity.

The confusion lifts.

The tension dissolves.

A different kind of respect enters.

✧ When You Encounter Barriers — Pause and Reflect

There will be moments when you feel misjudged, underestimated, or as if you’ve hit an invisible wall.

That feeling is real.

But before you internalize it, pause and ask yourself — with honesty and compassion:

How much of this is my own insecurity?
How much is structural or cultural lag?
Can this be overcome — and how do I respond powerfully, not passively?

I won’t pretend the world is neutral.

Historically, societies have created hierarchies — majority and minority, insider and outsider.

That instinct to classify, dominate, or exclude has shaped our institutions.

But human nature is evolving.

And slowly — systems are evolving too.

Finance is still conservative. But the pandemic cracked something open.

People went inward.

Now they are emerging with deeper questions about the world they want to build.

And yes — systems move slower than people.

But they do move. Because systems are built by individuals.

And individuals are waking up.

🧭 On Nuance, Power, and Walking Tall

In some rooms, you may be misread, overlooked, or boxed in.

Sometimes it’s cultural. Sometimes it’s communication. Sometimes it’s an echo of something deeper in the collective.

Before you react, pause and ask:

Is this actually about me?
Is this a room in transition?
What am I making this moment mean?
How do I want to respond — not react?

Not everything is personal. Not every closed door is prejudice.

But every challenging moment can sharpen you.

Let it sharpen you — not harden you.

Don’t carry bitterness.

Don’t shrink to be liked.

Don’t perform confidence you don’t feel.

Instead:

Stand tall. Stay kind. Stay sharp. Be clear.

The most effective protest is sustained excellence — rooted in authenticity, not anger.