Breaking into Finance: A Real-World Guide for Students and Future Leaders (technical and behavioral tips: lessons learned from a 15-year journey in Wall Street & City of London) - Part 3/5: On Being a Woman & Minority in Finance

Table of Contents

1. What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self at 21?
   1. Bonus 1 – On Gender and Being a Woman in Finance – reflections and lessons
   2. Bonus 2 – On Being from a Minority Cultural Background & the Bamboo Ceiling

💖 Bonus] On Gender and Being a Woman in Finance

In every firm I’ve worked in, I naturally gravitated toward building women’s circles and leadership networks — mentoring and training junior women so they could step into the executive roles they were born for. This is the section that caused me to delay publication for months.

I wasn’t sure how much I should share.

There’s still a lot I haven’t covered—but if you ever want to speak in person, I’m always happy to connect.

At first, I was going to write,

“Your excellence matters the most.”

But then a friend asked me:

“Do you think your career trajectory would have been the same if you were a man?

Same personality, same drive—just a different gender?”

That question gave me an a-ha moment.

Men aren’t evil or inherently biased.

But the system we work within was built by—and largely for—men for centuries.

Women have only entered the formal workforce relatively recently, especially in places like the US and Europe post-WWII.

I was reminded of all the meetings, happy hours, and social drinks I couldn’t join—either because I didn’t drink, or because I didn’t feel safe.

Women also tend to take maternity leave, delaying their career progressions.

In finance, trust is the most valuable currency.

And trust often grows informally—over time, in shared spaces.

Let’s be honest—finance has long been a male-dominated field. At times, it operates with a military-like intensity, requiring the mindset of an elite athlete. The glass ceiling was—and in many ways, still is—real. Not because of malice or exclusion, but because legacy systems take time to evolve. Don’t take it personally.

Not long ago, women quite literally weren’t factored into the workplace. In places like Switzerland and Saudi Arabia, some office buildings were designed without women’s restrooms—because women weren’t expected to work there. Things have changed now, though.

In many cultures, caregiving responsibilities still fall disproportionately on women, creating constraints that often go unspoken.

That said, the landscape is shifting—and rapidly. You are part of that change.

And it’s important to say this upfront:

You don’t need to operate from a victim mindset.

Your path will be your own.

It may be smooth or complex, linear or winding.

Simply explain and introduce who you are and own your story.

Never limit yourself by outdated assumptions—yours or anyone else’s.

What I’ve Learned as a Woman in Finance (Over 15 Years):

• How to sit at the table, even when I felt invisible.
• How to speak with calm conviction—without raising my voice.
• How to read a room before a word is spoken.
• How to lead with both precision and empathy.
• That sometimes, your ideas are heard more clearly when echoed by another voice—and that you can become that voice too.

A Note to Younger Women Entering the Field:

You are not an outsider.

You are a builder of what comes next.

This is no longer just about fitting in—it’s about defining the future of leadership.

Your presence, your questions, your way of thinking—it all matters.

• If you feel like you don’t belong, stay anyway.
• If you feel underestimated, let that sharpen your edge.
• If you see a gap in the system, start building.

Finance needs you. More and more clients are seeking diverse minds and solutions.

And you don’t have to wait for permission.

A Personal Reflection on Belonging:

Early in my career, I internalized a passing comment about my appearance and the unwanted male gaze—and without realizing it, I adapted.

I stopped wearing makeup and jewelry.

I believed I had to neutralize my femininity to be taken seriously.

It wasn’t until years later—surrounded by thoughtful, senior women—that I began to feel safe and unlearn that instinct.

Wearing a skirt or lipstick again wasn’t about style.

It was about reclaiming my feminine presence.

And as I stepped more fully into who I was, I became a clearer, stronger leader.

If You Encounter Non-Inclusive Behavior:

You are not alone.

And you are not overreacting.

• Set boundaries with calm clarity.
• Speak to someone you trust.
• Take time to reflect before deciding what to do next.

Most importantly, don’t carry shame for systems you didn’t design.

Trust your instincts. You’re allowed to take up space.

And finally:

We stand on the shoulders of those who came before us. I once heard a legend about a senior woman—an Oxford graduate, for example—who was asked to take an IQ test just to prove she wasn’t intellectually inferior to her male peers when applying for her first job in finance.

We’ve evolved a great deal since then—thanks to the women who carved the path before us.

And someone, someday, will stand on yours.

• Lead with integrity.
• Model strength.
• And remember:

Your presence is not a disruption. It is part of the evolution of this industry.

❣️Resources

🎥 Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPMzjMDq9PE

📚 Book Recommendations:

1. Leadership, Power & Influence (for women in high-stakes environments)

• The Moment of Lift — Melinda Gates: A thoughtful but strategic lens on women, leadership, and systemic change.
• Dare to Lead — Brené Brown: Emotional intelligence for high-pressure leadership. Great for mentoring.
• How Women Rise — Sally Helgesen & Marshall Goldsmith: Practical, senior-level frameworks for breaking self-sabotaging patterns in elite corporate settings.
• The Memo — Minda Harts: A powerful guide for women of color navigating corporate spaces with nuance and truth.
• The Authority Gap — Mary Ann Sieghart: A sharp look at implicit bias in powerful rooms — highly resonant for finance.

2. Finance, Power Structures & Global Markets

• The Power Broker — Robert Caro: Long, but a masterclass in systems, power, and how real influence works.
• Principles — Ray Dalio: Required reading if you want to mentor future leaders with rigor.
• The Outsiders — William Thorndike: Essential for understanding non-traditional, high-performing leaders in capital allocation.
• More Money Than God — Sebastian Mallaby: A crisp and absorbing history of hedge funds and risk intelligence.
• Trillion Dollar Coach — Eric Schmidt & Jonathan Rosenberg: Leadership lessons from Silicon Valley’s most influential coach (applies directly to finance teams).

3. Women, Confidence, Identity & Ambition

• Playing Big — Tara Mohr: Perfect for women in finance who carry brilliance but hesitate to step into visibility.
• Invisible Women — Caroline Criado Perez: A data-driven look at systemic structures; helps students understand context and bias.
• The Likeability Trap — Alicia Menendez: Sharp insights for women in male-dominated fields.
• Presence — Amy Cuddy: A psychological guide on energy, embodiment, and power.

4. Career Navigation, Excellence & Mentorship

• The Defining Decade — Meg Jay: Useful for students and early-career professionals.
• Range — David Epstein: A powerful counterpoint to hyper-specialisation — great for your narrative (“global generalist”).
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People — Stephen Covey: Classic, but a backbone for any mentoring curriculum.

5. Emotional Mastery & Human Understanding

• Nonviolent Communication — Marshall Rosenberg: A foundation for leadership, conflict resolution, and EQ.
• The Mountain Is You — Brianna Wiest: Accessible and grounding for mid-20s professionals.
• Attached — Levine & Heller: Useful for understanding relational dynamics — highly relatable for young mentees.
• Maybe You Should Talk to Someone — Lori Gottlieb: Deep, humorous, human. Helps students feel less “alone.”

6. Expanded Consciousness, Identity & Purpose

• The Second Mountain — David Brooks: Purpose, service, meaning — deeply grounding.
• Awareness — Anthony de Mello: Clear, sharp, psychologically liberating; no mystical fluff.
• Man’s Search for Meaning — Viktor Frankl: A universal compass for resilience and existential clarity.
• The Untethered Soul — Michael A. Singer: A gentle introduction to consciousness and emotional regulation.

🐠 Bonus 2] On Being from a Minority Cultural Background & the Bamboo Ceiling

Don’t let pride or fear push you into isolation. When you don’t see yourself reflected in the room, it’s easy to shrink or question your place.

But remember this: you carry a dimension others cannot replicate.

Your background, your story, your lived experience — your presence — brings a perspective that didn’t exist before you arrived.

Finance has historically favored one archetype: loud, assertive, fluent in dominant cultural codes.

That has been true.

But the landscape is shifting.

Excellence now has more than one face.

Quiet confidence, cross-cultural fluency, and emotional intelligence are becoming genuine competitive advantages.

If you’ve grown up navigating multiple worlds — linguistically, racially, nationally — you carry adaptability, attunement, and emotional range.

That is not a weakness. It is an asset.

And ultimately, what speaks loudest is your ability to deliver.

Own your pace. Own your presence. Own your perspective.

Never contort yourself to fit someone else’s outdated definition of leadership.

✧ A Personal Note

When I moved from New York to London, it took nearly two years to decode a new set of social expectations.

I had studied class, race, and the layered culture of British corporate life.

I’d lived across cities and continents. But even then — I felt out of place.

Born in South Korea as the daughter of a diplomat (a part of my story I’ve kept private until now).

Raised in Toronto (living with German and Israeli host families).

Shaped and worked in New York City.

Now working in the UK/Europe.

I carried a global life story, yet still felt pressure to “pick a side” — to be less Korean in some rooms, less Western in others.

But the real work was internal.

I had to ask myself:

• What part of myself am I editing — and for whom?
• What version of me is still trying to earn approval I no longer need?

Here is what I learned:

If you aren’t clear in your own self-definition, others will define you — for their comfort.

When you root fully into who you are — unapologetically — the room reorganizes around that clarity.

The confusion lifts.

The tension dissolves.

A different kind of respect enters.

✧ When You Encounter Barriers — Pause and Reflect

There will be moments when you feel misjudged, underestimated, or as if you’ve hit an invisible wall.

That feeling is real.

But before you internalize it, pause and ask yourself — with honesty and compassion:

• How much of this is my own insecurity?
• How much is structural or cultural lag?
• Can this be overcome — and how do I respond powerfully, not passively?

I won’t pretend the world is neutral.

Historically, societies have created hierarchies — majority and minority, insider and outsider.

That instinct to classify, dominate, or exclude has shaped our institutions.

But human nature is evolving.

And slowly — systems are evolving too.

Finance is still conservative. But the pandemic cracked something open.

People went inward.

Now they are emerging with deeper questions about the world they want to build.

And yes — systems move slower than people.

But they do move. Because systems are built by individuals.

And individuals are waking up.

🧭 On Nuance, Power, and Walking Tall

In some rooms, you may be misread, overlooked, or boxed in.

Sometimes it’s cultural. Sometimes it’s communication. Sometimes it’s an echo of something deeper in the collective.

Before you react, pause and ask:

• Is this actually about me?
• Is this a room in transition?
• What am I making this moment mean?
• How do I want to respond — not react?

Not everything is personal. Not every closed door is prejudice.

But every challenging moment can sharpen you.

Let it sharpen you — not harden you.

Don’t carry bitterness.

Don’t shrink to be liked.

Don’t perform confidence you don’t feel.

Instead:

Stand tall. Stay kind. Stay sharp. Be clear.

The most effective protest is sustained excellence — rooted in authenticity, not anger.